No More Silent Allies: Building Inclusive School Communities

This isn't my typical post.

Most posts I write have one or two audiences in mind, usually the families and practitioners in our community and also a broader group of educators.

This post isn't for them.

Of course, it's partly for them. But it's mostly for families of neurotypical kids. It's for my friends.

It's for the community of people who, on a day-to-day basis don't have to fight for their kids to be included in their neighborhood school or have access to education or be allowed to use their preferred method of communication.

You see, an important thing for us all to know here is that in the big picture, the systems that serve disabled students in our public schools are largely broken. And it puts parents of disabled students in a horrible position.

When I send my kids (almost 5 and 2) off to "school" in the morning, the things weighing on my mind throughout the day are generally something along the lines of "Please, oh please, don't let him take a nap or he'll be up until 10!" and "will she tell them if she needs to poop? Did I send enough extra undies?"

Typical parent worries, right?

Do you know what the parents of my nonspeaking autistic students are worried about?

They're worried their eighteen-year-old is going to bring home yet another coloring page or cartoon version of the Three Little Pigs.

They're worried their seven-year-old nonspeaking child will fall asleep on the morning bus route and no one will notice and he'll be left there when the bus gets returned to the depot for the day.

They're fearful school staff will restrain their child or lock him in an isolation space and traumatize them. Or worse, even inadvertently kill them.

They're terrified their child will wander off at recess, not be noticed and will be found dead in a nearby body of water.

They're panicked their teenager will bolt from the building because they can't handle the infantilization and broken promises of their educational team anymore and will be struck by a car on a busy street outside the school.

Kind of makes my nap and poop worries seem pretty trivial, huh?

These parents, of course, have the right to try to change things through the IEP process, mediation, and the legal action of due process.

Y'all, what parent on EARTH has the time or energy for that?

And yet, so many do try to take on the system. It takes years and untold energy. And so much money.

And still, so many lose.

Schools deny access to communication devices and only allow placement in "specialized" (you actually pronounce this word "segregated") programs. They don't invest in training or staffing to properly support students' unique communication, regulation, or educational needs.

The idea of "individualized" education (the I in IEP) becomes less and less relevant.

It's no wonder then, when parents pull their kids out of the public system and seek alternatives like private schools and homeschooling.

We support a lot of families in this position and we still advocate for systems change in our public schools. This sometimes leads to pushback from people.

The argument goes like this:

You can't change systems if you opt out.

Are you still with me? Still along for the flow of my thought? How can anyone ask a parent in their shoes to keep their kids in a system where they don't trust that at the most basic level their children are safe.

What level of blood sacrifice is acceptable in the name of systems change?

None.

And that, dear parents of nondisabled students, is where you come in.

We all need to play a role in systems change that goes beyond just empathizing with parents and families who are struggling.

Jennifer Sommerness, a researcher at the Ties Center at the University of Minnesota, said in a recent panel discussion on the Maryland Coalition for Inclusive Education's Think Inclusive podcast ultimately when, “people who have kids who don’t have IEPs are the ones that are fighting right alongside the parents of kids who do have IEPs to say, ‘this is the right thing’” we’ll start to see the major changes in our schools. 

As allies, it’s crucial to start asking, where are the disabled students in my child’s school? 

Data from 2022-2023 suggests that at least 13% of school-aged students are autistic. In Maryland, my home state, only 44% of autistic students are in general education environments 80% or more of the day. So where are these students? Why aren’t they being educated with their peers?

The Hidden Reality of Disability in Schools

Let's dive deeper into the statistics. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, 14% of all public school students received special education services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) in the 2020-2021 school year.

That's about 7.2 million students. Yet, how many of these students do you see in your child's classroom?

The reality is that many of these students are segregated into separate classrooms or even separate schools. This segregation isn't just limited to autism.

Consider these statistics:

• Only 64% of students with specific learning disabilities spend 80% or more of their time in regular classes.

• For students with intellectual disabilities, that number drops to a mere 17%.

• Students with emotional disabilities? Only 48%.

The Benefits of Inclusion for All Students

If you're like most of the inclusion skeptics we encounter, you're probably thinking, "But won't including disabled students in regular classrooms detract from the education of my typical kid?"

We hear this a lot, but research consistently shows that inclusive education benefits all students, not just those with disabilities. A comprehensive review of research led by Harvard found that students who are included achieve better social and academic outcomes, and there are benefits for students without disabilities as well.

The research highlights five major benefits of inclusion for non-disabled students:

• Reduced fear of human difference, accompanied by increased comfort and awareness

• Growth in social cognition

• Improvements in self-concept

• Development of personal moral and ethical principles

• Warm and caring friendships

What's more, studies have shown that students without disabilities make significantly greater progress in reading and math when taught in an inclusive setting with students with disabilities.

A meta-analysis covering a sample of almost 4,800,000 students confirmed that inclusive learning environments have positive effects on all students.

Let me also make sure to mention that there is no research showing that inclusion harms other students. That big meta-analysis I just mentioned showed that 81% of reported outcomes showed that including students with disabilities in general education classrooms resulted in either a positive or neutral effect on their nondisabled peers.

Inclusive education isn't just about placing disabled students in general education classrooms. It's about creating an environment where all students feel a sense of belonging and can thrive. And it's up to those of us with nondisabled children to help create that culture among our children and in our schools.

Let's Go

So often, I hear well-meaning allies say, "let me know what I can do to help you" to parents who are already drowning as they navigate systems that are "designed" to support their disabled children. On the surface this comment appears helpful, but actually puts an additional burden back on those same overwhelmed people to describe and delegate what they need.

What if, instead, we just helped.

As parents of nondisabled children, it's time to start asking questions:

• Why don't I see more diversity of abilities in my child's classroom?

• What is our school doing to promote authentic inclusive education beyond the tokenism of "awareness" days and buddy programs?

• How can I support families of disabled students in advocating for better inclusion?

Remember, inclusive education isn't just about placing disabled students in general education classrooms. It's about creating an environment where all students, regardless of ability, can learn and thrive together.

It's about teaching our children the value of diversity and the strength that comes from including everyone.

The burden of advocacy shouldn't fall solely on the shoulders of parents who are already struggling to ensure their children's basic safety and education. It's time for all of us to step up, to become vocal allies, and to demand change in our schools.

Because in the end, a more inclusive education system benefits everyone.

It teaches our children empathy, cooperation, and the true meaning of diversity. It prepares them for a world where people of all abilities work and live side by side.

So, the next time you're at a PTA meeting, voting for your school board members, or talking with your child's teacher, ask about inclusion. Ask where the disabled learners are.

And most importantly, make it clear that you are community member who wants your school to be a more inclusive place for all students.

Because every child deserves to learn alongside their peers, to feel valued, and to have the opportunity to reach their full potential.

And it's up to all of us to make that a reality. Silence is complicity. It's time to speak up.